Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics

1	Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo: Early '50s Recording 2:16
2	Merry Fucking Christmas 2:04
3	O Holy Night 1:57
4	Dead, Dead, Dead 2:13
5	Carol of the Bells 0:57
6	The Lonely Jew on Christmas 2:46
7	I Saw Three Ships 1:02
8	It Happened in Sun Valley 2:21
9	O Tannenbaum 1:10
10	Christmas Time in Hell 2:15
11	What the Hell Child Is This? 4:28
12	Santa Claus Is on His Way 0:28
13	Swiss Colony Beef Log 2:16
14	Hark! The Herald Angels Sing 0:40
15	Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel 3:20
16	The Most Offensive Song Ever 3:00
17	We Three Kings 0:51
18	Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas 2:30

Barnes & Noble

What better way to celebrate the last Christmas of the century than a CD flush with carols, jingles, and ethnic smears? The evil geniuses who created "South Park" have done it again with this outrageous collection of Christmas "classics" guaranteed to crack up their loyal fans and grossly offend nearly everyone else. The disc literally starts in the toilet -- with a song celebrating the life and legend of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo -- and it's all downhill from there. Every beloved character from the hit TV show gets his or her say here, from Shelley Marsh, Stan's lisping, headgear-sporting sister, to funky soul brother #2, Isaac Hayes's Chef. Kyle Broflofski and his family score two pleas for tolerance with "The Lonely Jew on Christmas" and a lively, contrapuntal rendition of "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel." Meanwhile, a teary-voiced Adolf Hitler performs "O Tannenbaum" in German before Satan tries to cheer him up ("Hey Hitler. What's the matter, little guy?") with a jaunty little ditty called "Christmas time in Hell" that references Jeffrey Dahmer, Mao Tse-tung, and Michael Landon. Perhaps most important are the contributions from Eric Cartman, who submits a musical masterpiece entitled "Swiss Colony Beef Log" -- a hilarious paean to the joys of packaged meats that sounds frighteningly similar to a Nightranger power ballad. Mr. Garrison's tune, "Merry F**king Christmas," pretty much sums things up by making sure to offend those who might have made it through the other tracks. To paraphrase him: Get off your heathen asses and celebrate! Donald Gray

All Music Guide

Truly tasteless, satirical, and over the top -- from the cover to the liner notes to the lyrics -- Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics collection features more of the usual rampant obnoxiousness associated with the TV show South Park. Some of the traditional tracks are entertaining, including guidance counselor Mr. Mackey's cover of "Carol of the Bells," Eric Cartman's impromptu version of "O Holy Night," and especially Chef's paternity dilemma in "What the Hell Child Is This?" The highlight of the disc is probably Kyle Broflofsky's hilarious "The Lonely Jew on Christmas" ("I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew/I can't be merry, 'cause I'm Hebrew"), and the like-minded "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" is inspired and funny. At first glance, the most offensive track might be "O Tannenbaum," sung by a sobbing Hitler (who sounds more like Apu from the Simpsons), but "Christmas Time in Hell," sung by a festive Satan, has mercilessly mocking lyrics that spare no one (including JFK Jr., Princess Diana, and Gene Siskel). "The Most Offensive Song Ever" features Kenny singing (and therefore muffling) the most shocking parts, but listeners will certainly get the point, and that's good enough for a Christmas album of this ilk. Gina Boldman